Hold onto 16

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I’ve always loved Philosophy. I think the idea of questioning anything and everything has always appealed to me. Prosing a question and exhausting all possible answers, then ultimately coming up with no definite OR multiple explanations just seems so poetic. I feel like this leads to something more than just BAM! There is your answer. Plain. Simple. Correct. It’s so clinical. So boring. Which is probably why I hate maths so much. Everything is an equation. Everything has an answer. I am the worst Asian. Ever. I cringe every time I’m asked a maths question. My brain just won’t work that way. Give me an existential crisis and I will philosophise its butt off.

A friend recently told me that I think too much. Guilty! BUT! What’s wrong with that? I think once we stop analysing and dissecting everything, that’s when we give up. Its like, “hang on; this is way too confusing or difficult to deal with. I just won’t think about it”. That just seems like such a defeatist attitude. Granted I do think a lot. But is that so bad?

There is such a stigma about the female thought process. I read a book a few years ago. Admittedly, it was a shitty self help book. Look, I was young, and really into Sex and the City and was watching an episode that was promoting this fucking awful bad piece of literature (if you can call it that); He’s Just Not That Into You. I read it. Laughed at how ridiculous some of the anecdotes were. Then began to feel awful about myself because it basically categorised me into one of those girls. You know. The dreamers. Probably have scenarios of earth shattering romance always floating around in their tiny lady-brain. You know? Idiotic girls who have allowed Hollywood to implant a rom-com chip in their brains that release spurts of deluded, whimsical thoughts in their heads every time they see the Notebook.

So in nutshell, this book is about the idea that if a guy:

  • a. doesn’t call you after a date
  • b. refuses to go out with you
  • c. just treats you like a friend

…then he is probably just not that into you. Obvious, right? It’s so simple! The guy doesn’t like you so why would he try. In theory, it’s supposed to be a female empowering thing. Right…

My qualm is that the book completely destroys the thought process of females. That innate way we analyse and comb through every piece of information in trying to work out what is going on in the male brain, our relationships, or lack of one! Yes, the book has a good point. If a guy is treating you like a doormat, or hurting you, then yes, by all means, walk away. Run the fuck away! Why would you hold on to something that is not even real? Furthermore, why would you if you were being hurt?

The book has this mantra. “Don’t waste the pretty”. Fuck yes! Don’t! Not on a knob-jockey that will just walk all over your heart. A gold star to the authors!

But then, they start dissecting the female psyche and made it seem like we need to snap out of this so called “love coma”. And it just pissed me off. “You girls think too much. Be realistic. Practical. Stop thinking. Stop dreaming. Just do it.” Do what exactly? Stop analysing things? Stop questioning? Stop dreaming?
What is wrong with thinking about things? What is wrong with the beautiful whimsy that we apply to everything? As long as we’re not delusional, I think it’s wonderful.

Life is hard as it is. What’s wrong with trying to sprinkle some magic in the mix? A little bit of whimsy can really turn an awful situation into a learning curve.

Observe the following scenarios:

Scenario 1: Broken heart. Bad.
Scenarios 2: Broken heart and not giving yourself the time to be sad about it. Even worse. 
Scenario 3: Broken heart and then pretending it’s all ok and that you’re a tough bitch and fine because people will think you’re a loser. The worst!

Now, if we combine:

– Broken heart
– Sappy movie
– Assorted junk food. Both the sweet and savoury kind.
– A good sook. Make sooking your bitch!
– That liberating feeling after a good sook.
– The time to really feel sad and soak in all its glory
– The idea that “yes, this sucks. But meh, I’m going to wallow in it for a bit because, dammit! I’m deep and emotional! However, after this funk, I’m going to wipe away the smudges of chocolate from my face and do it all again! And if it doesn’t work out for whatever reason, I’ll go through the motions again and hope for the best. And keep on being awesome. Because that is exacty how I roll. ”

Whimsy is great. It keeps us holding on to that feeling that we had when we were young, somewhat nive, but oh so brave. Full of hope and vibrating with whimsy.

I’m going to hold on to that that feeling as long as I can.


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