Wow, I really need to get my shit together when it comes to this blog. It’s been awhile since the last entry. Well in my defense, I was in Africa for two and a half weeks…so yeah…that’s a good enough excuse, right? But in all honesty I was in Africa! Morocco to be exact! And it was…sheer bliss. There aren’t enough words to describe it. And I know how wanky that sounds. It’s like, “oh wow, you went on a holiday. Please, tell us all how amazing it was 30 times a day…”
It’s not even like that, believe me. Every time I get asked about it, I am literally lost for words. It’s a weird feeling, trying to summate what was an incredible experience in a few words without sounding boastful or like I’m embellishing…but honesty, it was incredible. I haven’t marveled at anything for a very long time…and boy did I marvel…
But more about Africa and Morocco in the next blog entry!
Ok, I just used Africa as a platform to advertise my next blog entry. That’s terrible. It feels like exploitation. I feel like that’s something Bono would do. Urgh. I feel dirty…
Speaking of Bono, who likes Bob Marley? Ok, that was the worst Segway in the known Universe…but yeah, Bob Marley. Everyone loves the guy! I have yet to meet anyone who had a bad word said about that lovable weed wacker. I mean, he was all about free love and doobies. Who wouldn’t like a guy as chilled at that?
Bob Marley has a special place in my heart because he created one of the best songs ever written. EVER!
Written and released for his 1977 record, Exodus, Waiting in Vain is deceptively upbeat despite its somewhat depressing undertones. It’s what I like to call a “snea-glee” tune. Get it? Sneaky and glee…together as one to form an awesome new word. Can you feel the power in that word? No!? Yes, this portmanteau seems hella’ ridiculous but come on, it makes sense doesn’t it? Also, I just high-fived myself because I’ve finally ticked one of the things on my bucket list, which is to somehow incorporate the word ‘portmanteau’ in one of my blog entries. As you are all probably aware now, I have a pretty sad bucket list…
So why is it “snea-glee”? Well, in MY interpretation, it’s essentially a love song whilst being a giant “fuck you” all at the same time. In a nutshell, the song is about a person who no longer wants to wait in vain for the love he/she rightfully deserves from the person they desire. The reggae hides the pain, but it’s there. The emotion is palpable even though that groove is ever so present and you’re left with swaying hips and finger clicks for days.
The song sort of contradicts itself, which you know what, under the circumstances, is fine. The guy seems heart broken and confused, and the song reflects that kind of tormented feeling of hopelessness.
“From the very first time I laid my eyes on you girl
My heart said follow through
But I know now that I’m way down on your line
But the waiting feeling is fine
So don’t treat me like a puppet on a string
Cos’ I know how to do my thing
Don’t talk to me, like if you think I’m done
I wanna know when you’re gonna come”
Despite the repetition of claiming that he no longer wants to wait in vain for this-so-called love…he will wait. Why? Because like he says, “the waiting feeling is fine”.
But what happens when the “waiting feeling” is no longer fine?
I was talking to a friend the other day about a predicament that he has. Basically, he’s been “seeing” this girl casually and well, is trying to fade out from the situation because he’s not that keen anymore. He says it’s mutual and both parties are in agreement. As a female, I can confirm that it’s never mutual. Someone is always left disappointed…or worse, hurt…
I asked him, “why do guys act interested in girls knowing that they don’t see a future?” Alright, admittedly my question was more crass than what was described in the latter. It was more like, “why do guys bang girls they don’t even seem to like or want to be with?” And he gave me the most brutal, yet honest answer…”because it’s easy. It’s familiar. You don’t have to try anymore…you know…”
And I totally get it. I was supposed to go on a date a few days ago but I cancelled at the last minute because (and I’m so shamed to admit this) I couldn’t be bothered trying. Yup. I didn’t even want to try. Why? Because I would rather remain in this weird limbo of a place, and stick to what’s familiar and what’s easy. Even though I’m waiting in vain, knowing that I will never get the answer that I want and deserve.
I was driving on an empty freeway last night when it clicked. My iPod was on shuffle and this song started playing and made me realise that waiting is for the weak. And you know what, I’m not weak.
I climbed a mountain in Morocco, for fucks sake. Granted it was a small mountain I guess, but still a mountain. I sang in front of a crowd of people and kept my eyes open to look at all the smiles directed towards me in the room. I danced on an empty dance floor knowing full well that people looked on in judgmental amusement and had a blast because I had zero fucks to give. I gazed up at a brighter, bigger moon and counted different stars. I endured the howling Sahara winds and yelled at the blistering sun and I felt free. I was and AM brave and that didn’t occur to me till tonight.
So this what is it looks like when the waiting feeling is no longer fine. It looks like me playing the ukulele very badly, singing this song and high-fiving myself because I finally used the word ‘portmanteau’. I couldn’t ask for a happier ending.
Every ting Eirie! Ya mon!